Day #7

"...and He rested on the seventh day..." Gen 2:2

so shall we.

Taking a break from reading today, instead taking time to think about what we read and put in into context with the question we've been given for this week - 'What does it mean to be heirs of the kingdom?'

A few points by chapter:

1 : We have a predestined purpose.
Our Father in heaven has a plan and purpose for our lives, and through Jesus we also have an inheritance, as well as the Holy Spirit of promise.

2 : We are saved by grace; Christ is our peace.
Saved by grace but through faith, which is evident in works, we have Christ as our peace and mediator, the one who broke down the walls of seperation and became the cornerstone of the church.

3 : We must be attentive to unravel the mystery.
Revelation is everywhere; it is up to us to be sensitive and responsive to the call of His Spirit.

4 : Each of us has a role, and fulfilling that role implies putting off our old sinful nature.
Don't try to fit into other peoples' shoes, turn to God to determine who He wants us to be; and above all, put off our old man and be baptised into the new.

5 : Imitate God in Love, Light, and Wisdom.
As heirs to the throne, we must take on the image and likeness of our Father - we must walk in love, scorn darkness and its partakers, and live wisely, in the full realization and understanding of the will of God.

6 : Obey the Father, and learn to put on the full armour of God
It's the greatest gift God could ever give us to help us with our journey, be sure to make full use of it as rightful heirs to the throne!

Prayer : Father God, thank you for Word and your truth; we are Your children and You are our Father. Do continue to guide us even as we work through and work out Your purpose for our lives, and as we resume our reading of Ephesians once again. Amen

Day #6

Internet connection went haywire last night, couldn't get one until a few hours ago, so... yes it's late again.

Let's hope nothing will prevent today's post from being on time.

Right on.

Time for the final chapter in Ephesians today, chapter 6. And it starts with

"Children, Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Eph 6:1

I guess this verse does not need introduction; we've all come across this some time in our lives, the instruction to honour and obey our parents. Direct and straight to the point, no beating around the bush. Let us not forget that we must obey "in the Lord", and that God is our heavenly Father, thus we need also obey him and his Word.

But

"And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord." Eph 6:4

Guess that works both ways. haha.

And the most important part of the chapter (and dare I say, the whole book) -

"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." Eph 6:11

Perhaps this is God answering part of my questions from yesterday. Regardless of what our situation is, however dire it seems, learning to put on the complete armor of God seems like a very good idea.

a) Belt of Truth
The belt is worn on the waist, which can be seen as the central point on our body, where our torso connects with our legs. It is the center of gravity and balance for us as well. Thus, our entire lives, the very center of who we are and what we stand for, must be based on the Truth, and nothing else. The truth will indeed set us free.

b) Breastplate of Righteousness
The breastplate covers the most vital organ in our body, our heart - the core of life. In the same way, the "core" of what we think, say or do, must always be governed by righteousness. And that discernment (wrong from right) comes only from the Holy Spirit.

c) Sandals (?) of Peace
Sandals are what we wear on our feet (okay maybe slippers or shoes in our age). And our feet are the ones which determine in which direction we are headed, how fast we are moving, and that which gives us a sense of movement and purpose. And I guess it is in those areas (the purpose of our life, how fast / slow it is going) that we require the peace of God to be with us, that we may keep a cool and calm head about things and not lose sight of our goals.

d) Shield of faith
Now this might seem contradictory to the fact that faith is an ACTIVE component of our belief, but considering the fact that HAVING a shield is not the same as actually SHIELDING yourself - there must be an active component involved as well. If you are given a shield and do not know how to use it, and do not bother to learn how to, what good will it be in the heat of battle? Might even slow you down, I reckon. Faith is shown through works, and the function of the shield is only clear when it actually BLOCKS something.

e) Helmet of Salvation
What do helmets protect? Our heads, which house our brains, the center of intellectual capabilities, and of sentient thought. I firmly believe that salvation is not a one-time event (once saved, always saved is definitely NOT true), but rather it is a real-time mindset, a state of mind we have to be constantly aware of as we work our way through life, and work out our salvation through faith and by grace.

f) Sword - the Word of God
The most important - and therefore dangerous - weapon we have at our disposal, the Bible contains all of God's promises, and the experience of many before us, as inspired by the Holy Spirit. What better tool than the Word of God to turn to in times of crisis? Especially seeing as the devil fears the Word of the Lord.

And that wraps up the whole book of Ephesians rather nicely, I think. Going for a second round through the day after tomorrow, will be having a day of rest and recapping this entire week in the context of the question we've decided on - 'What does it mean to be heirs to the throne?' 

Prayer : Dear God, thank you for showing me that although we all fall short, it is what we choose to do after that that matters, that sometimes a little spark is all that takes to reignite the passion to long after You once again. Teach me to live each day with the protection of Your armor, o Lord - and that Your name may be glorified in all that I do. Amen.

Day #5

Terribly late, I know.

Today's will be on time, promise.

So. Ephesians 5 "today", and a church prayer meeting "earlier tonight" (on Tuesday)

One of the questions we were called on to meditate and focus on during our worship / prayer session was this : What makes Jesus, the son of David, such a special and great figure to us?

I was silent; I didn't have an answer to that. Try as I may, digging into my heart for an answer, the deeper I went, the hollower I became. I just couldn't answer that.

Sure, Jesus, You are wonderful, name above all names, Messiah, our Redeemer and friend, our Lord and Saviour, He who set us free, Prince of Peace, Counselor - but what did the name Jesus, and all He stood for, really mean to me? On a more personal note, I realized I had never thought about it that way before.

I could hardly focus for the rest of the night. Nick said something which rang so true on the empty walls of my heart.

Facade.

That's what I felt my life has been like. Just a facade, nothing behind it. Just getting through day by day, wandering and purposeless.

"Therefore be imitators of God as dear children." Eph 5:1
"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord." Eph 5:8

We are called to be followers of Christ, as God's children, to have the hunger and the faith to be LIKE Jesus, to be holy as our Father in heaven is holy.

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise." Eph 5:15

Here we are instructed to walk not as fools, but as the wise. And how do we discern wisdom from folly, right from wrong, then by praying for God's wisdom and the mind of Christ?

I could go on and talk about "redeeming the time, because the days are evil..." (Eph 5:6) being a warning against procrastination, but I.. can't. Stopping here for today.

Prayer : Dear Lord, forgive me for not having established a more personal relationship with You. Help me draw to closer to you o God, to have a more meaningful and intimate connection with You. I want more of You in my life, with every passing day. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Day #4

Gotta keep up! Nearly there haha.


Another day gone by so fast, holidays will be ending far too soon. 


Anyways, Chapter 4 today, as I was reading through could sort of make out 2 main themes in the passage :


1. Structure and Role
2. Change


"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers..." (Eph 4:11)


This means 2 things : One, we are all given a very specific role to play in God's kingdom; and two, there is a sense of leadership and structure about the "ranks" (if they can be called that).


Each of us has been created unique and different. Thus we all have varying roles to play, roles which have been predestined for us to fit into by our Father. These roles are also unique, and no two are the same. But more often than not, we are so caught up in the system of the world and the desires of the flesh, that we end up being who WE want to be, instead of who GOD originally wanted us to be. 


And a body cannot function if its members are not aligned with the same understanding in mind. 


The sense "ranking" simply means that we have a responsibility towards those under our authority, ie. if anyone needs help, they should be able to receive that help from the next in line. Ultimately we are all responsible for each other, and towards God, but we must be careful that in our daily works, we do not overstep the boundaries of our responsibilities and try being someone else. Know what you are supposed to be doing, and do it in faith.


The second item is something closer to my heart, that is change.


"...that you PUT OFF, concerning your former conduct, the old man... and be renewed in the spirit of your mind..." (Eph 4:23)


This states very simply, and very clearly, that IF we have acknowledged that we are sinners and that Jesus is our saviour, then there MUST exist a change which seperates us from who we used to be. Much like a caterpillar shedding off its old self to become a butterfly through metamorphosis, so we must throw off our old man, "die to our old self", and be transformed into a new person. 


However, I of all people know that is not an easy task. I myself find shades of my old self resurfacing from time to time, all the while struggling to make sense of why and how to prevent that from happening again. 


Have we really put to death, for good, our old self? I wish I could answer that with much more confidence. 


Prayer : Dear Lord, you know my struggles, you know me; who I am. I submit all my struggles with putting off my old self to You, for You and You alone are in control dear God. Help me make a change, for the better, for Your glory. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Day #3

Yeah I know, way overdue. Need to start doing these regularly lest they start piling up. Not good.

Decent breakfast today (disappointed at the garlic bread from ALDI - back to Woolsworths I go!), but hunger was almost ever-present during the last few hours, was happy to finally break fast.

Onto Ephesians Chapter 3 today, which focuses on the 'Mystery' (Of Jesus? Of our salvation?), according to the understandings of Paul. 

"To me, who am less than the least of the saints, this GRACE was given..." Eph 3:8

As talked about in the previous chapter, we are saved not by our own works, but solely by grace, through out faith, which is exercised through works. 

"...How that by revelation he made known to me the mystery..." Eph 3:3

God is always willing to reveal his will to us through thoughts, people around us, situations and circumstances, but the big question I guess I have to ask myself is :

AM I EXPECTING IT?

Say for example, you arrange to meet your friend at a certain busy (and therefore noisy) sidewalk in the city at a certain time. And suppose you arrive an hour early and decide to wait somewhere around the meeting spot. Now if your friend arrives 30 minutes earlier, and he is on the other side of the street, if he calls out to you, will you be able to hear him and respond? Bearing in mind you are completely not expecting him to be there that early and the noisy afternoon crowd does not help matters.

As described above, the 2 main reasons we fail to hear from God are :

1. We are not expecting it

2. We are letting the distractions around us interfere with our concentration and miss out hearing the actual message

And in the same way, we must be always open and receptive towards His voice, even in the midst of a hectic schedule. Thus there is a need to train our eyes and ears, to see and hear according to what He wants us to see. And it is exactly that space we are hoping to open up during this 40 days of prayer and fasting.

Oh yeah : Curry powder Basa fish fillets, deep fried till golden brown, for dinner! 

Prayer : Dear Lord, we pray this day that You make us your empty vessels, ready and willing to do Your will, which You have in store for us. Continue to mold and shape us to be submissive and contrite, and open our eyes and ears so that we might see and hear what You want us to. We also pray, Father, that you build up our faith, that we might be able to love others like You have first loved us. In Jesus' name we ask and pray, Amen.

Day #2

"Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, ... will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Matt 6:30)

Second day of fasting, and it feels worse than the first day. The food is so close, yet so far away.

Went on a trip to a tulip farm with Uncle Nee, Aunty Linda, and Calvin - which triggered the above verse in my mind. Although not all the tulips were in bloom (the colder weather has affected them somewhat), they still made for pretty pictures. Beautiful, are they not? And if God cares for them, how much more does He care for us, who call him Abba Father?

"For by GRACE you have been saved through FAITH, and that not of yourselves..." (Eph 2:8)

My understanding of that particular verse, which stood out to me amongst the rest, is this :

We are saved BY grace, but THROUGH faith. 

Faith without works is dead indeed, but those works, however righteous we think they may be, are worthless (our righteousness is compared to filthy rags, ~Isa 64:6), and are NOT the reason we are saved. Despite despising all uncleanliness and unholiness, God is the only reason we are saved - it is His grace, poured out in abundance for us through the sending of His own son, which allows us this privilege to be part of His family.

BUT faith in itself, is not dead either. Far from it.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Heb 11:1)

In fact, Faith cannot exist except through works. It can only manifest itself through our works, when we take a step in faith, speak up in faith, perform an act of faith, then and only then, does faith shine. Our works depends on our faith, yet our faith determines our works. However, I admit it is not easy at all, to maintain the same childlike faith as we used to have years ago. Given the system we live in, where circumstances and problems often cause unnecessary fear and blindness, we are constantly overwhelmed by the unceasing tidal wave of drama and headache. As such I find it very hard, at times, to focus on God the problem solver, drawn instead to focus (wrongly) on the problem itself, trying to solve it with our own means.

And I am reminded of a song which has has held a very special place in my heart since I first heard it.

"You are my strength when I am weak; 

You are the treasure that I seek;

You are my all in all~

Seeking You as a precious jewel;

Lord to give up I'd be a fool;

You are my all in all~ "

Prayer : Father God, thank for for Your grace and mercy, for sending Your son to die for our transgressions. Help us learn to cast all our cares upon You, for indeed You care about us. We acknowledge we can do nothing without you; teach us to confide in You more, our saviour and friend. And once again help our unbelief, teach us to have faith, the faith of a mustard seed, a childlike faith, with brings pleasure to you o God. And as we continue to seek Your face each day, reveal Yourself to us - that is what we pray. Amen.

Day #1

And so the fasting begins! Oh I don't think I mentioned what I was fasting from, I decided upon a 12 hour fast from 8am to 8pm, no food and drink except for water during that period.

For a guy who is fasting for the first time in his life, I reckon I passed... somewhat. Which wasn't to say I was bombarded with thoughts of eating something (ANYTHING!!) just to fill my gnawing stomach, especially as 8pm drew closer and closer. And what a relief it was to finally break fast with food. Even bitter gourd tasted good (okay maybe not, it was terribly bitter but it was food nonetheless.)

Started on Ephesians 1 today, the plan as agreed by our housechurch is to finish reading all 6 chapters of the book each week (1 each day and a summary on the last day), for the entire 6 weeks of the 40 days.

Ephesians 1 talks about "...having predestined us to adoption as sons..." (Eph 1:5), and "...have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him..." (Eph 1:11)

It was clear to me that God has a purpose for each and every one of us, a destiny, and a sovereign plan. But whether or not we are open to his nudgings and whispers, is another story altogether. If we are predestined inheritors of the riches of his grace, but are ignorant enough not to do anything about it, whose fault will that be? It also shows us the heart of our Father God, "...purposed IN himself." (Eph 1:9) - how much more love can a father show than by sending his own son away for the purpose of his creation?

What's more,  "...the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power..." (Eph 1:19)  seems to agree that as long as we believe in Him, his grace is exceedingly and abundantly overflowing for us, but at times we seem reluctant to claim His promises, whether by doubt or by fear, but imperfect as we are, we can only continue to pray that our Father will help our unbelief, to strengthen our trust in Him. I guess we are often caught up in the distractions (yes, the comfortable, meticulously scheduled lives we live, built around deadlines and time and efficiency, often leaves space for little else, hence it is a distraction as well) of the system we live in, that it is sometimes very easy for us to forget that we have His promises to fall back and rely on, now and forever.

A decidedly appropriate start to the 40 days, and I have faith that by the end of this fasting period, there will be change occuring in every one of us, great or small, that God will have left his mark on His children, those who have sought him and sought his voice.

Oh, did I mention I had to resist the urge to grab a snack so regularly it was almost all I thought of during the afternoon (Have to cut down on the bad habit of having a "light" meal every now and then, hmm....)

Prayer : Father God, even as we kick off our 40 days prayer and fasting, we pray you turn our minds away from the nagging thoughts of 'what ifs' and 'wish I coulds' - the distractions our flesh throw at us throughout the day - and guide us to tune into You, to learn to listen for Your voice. We know it is not easy, but we try our best, and we leave the rest up to You, o Lord. We trust in Your plans for our life, for our future, and we pray that even as we open up these spaces during the next 40 days, that you reveal Yourself to us in Your own special way, and as for all the different things we are individually and as a community praying for dear Father, we claim Your promises for them, that Your will be done. Keep us all safe, and grant us a good first night's rest. Amen.

Addition to prayer list

So I received an email from home today, will quote it exactly because nothing else would do it justice.

"Please kindly add another prayer request, pray for dad, he went for eye check up yesterday and Dr. said that the gluecoma problem of his left eye is getting serious, his left eye almost cant see clearly, very blur, Dr. Raj said  he need to go for laser in Columbia Hospital, waiting to get appointment soon. According to Dr. Raj, he said there is no cure in gluecoma  problem, there is nothing you can do about it, but just to prevent it from getting worst, thats about it. He refuse to go for second opinion, dont know why?anyway, keep him in prayer, all things are possible with God... just claim God's word for complete healing.... thanks."


Sometimes we have to wonder why things happen the way they do, and circumstances often lead up to doubt creeping into our minds, but I pray God will give us the strength and will to carry on, to finish the race. Will be adding this to the list of things to meditate and pray upon during these 40 days of fasting.


Prayer : Dear Father God, we acknowledge that there are many things in the world that happen which we do not understand, but we believe firmly that Your ways are higher than our ways, in the same way Your thoughts higher than our thoughts; we also trust that you will not let us be tempted beyond our what we capable of, that You are the author and finisher of our faith. Help our unbelief, Father, that we may fully trust in You are cast all our burdens on you, be they big or small. Teach us also, to pray, even as we devote a small portion of our time each day during these 40 days with You, and still our spirit to hear from Your voice. All this we pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

The decision

Over the past few nights, I have been debating with myself over what to fast from during the 40 day period starting this Friday. And so naturally, one would ask : why is that so important? Why is what you fast from important in a time of prayer and fasting?

The answer to that is, it is not actually WHAT you fast from that matters, but it is HOW it affects you that matters. We have gone over this in our housechurch discussions - fasting should not be seen merely as a means to induce suffering, (although to a certain extent it helps us relate to the suffering in the world, to connect with the less fortunate around us, to be able to feel what they feel and so on), to bring our flesh under submission and enable us to focus on our spiritual inner man (Again, not saying this is wrong, it does bring what we are fasting for into sharp focus throughout this period), but RATHER, is really just as simple as a failsafe, a clear reminder as to why we are undertaking this fast in the first place.

And choosing to fast from something which comes naturally to us (in other words, something which has become a common component of our daily routine, such as we often take it for granted and overlook it because we are just so used to doing it), will doubly ensure that our usual comfortable schedule is rudely interrupted at least once a day, and we are forced, like it or not, to reflect upon the cause of that interruption, ie the reason we are fasting FOR. For example, this is what someone fasting from meat would be thinking at every meal :

Aww breakfast. Hmm no bacon in the fridge. Why can't I eat bacon? Oh, I'm fasting from meat because we want to pray for something and someone together as a community.


Lunch comes around, and only vegetables and beans. Wait wait where's my meat? Ahhhh I'm fasting in order to commit something and something to God. 


Dinner! Finally! Time for a good meat stir fry. Ahh I've forgotten again, fasting for something and someone. Right.

Everytime you are reminded (sometimes painfully) of the fact that you are fasting from something, it also triggers a reminder in your head as to WHY you are doing this (This comes automatically; we always demand reasons from circumstances so we can 'understand' it). This way, no matter how cramped and how hectic your daily proceedings get, you can always rely on that little 'issue' to keep your mind on the subject of why you are fasting.

Also, something Nick brought up during our short meeting yesterday really stuck with me. He really put it very simply yet very powerfully. He hoped that during this period of 40 days, we would learn to talk less and learn to listen more, listening for God's voice speaking to us (through anything - thoughts throughout the day, conversations, readings, His word, songs - anything), revealing what He has in store for us. And that this fast was simply a means to open up space, to CONSISTENTLY and in a DISCIPLINED manner open up this space where we are focused on quieting our hearts to listen daily, and seeing what doors this space can open up for each of us. I believe that all of us (or at least myself in particular) are in desperate need of spaces like this (because otherwise I would not be determined enough to carry this out day after day), to instill a sort of diligence and discipline in us.

And I believe, as does Nick, that if we really set our hearts to it and commit to it these 40 days, God will move in a fresh and new way, in a way none of us could ever imagine.

Prayer : Dear heavenly Father. I pray for everyone of us undertaking this 40 day fast, that you open our eyes and ears to look to you and listen for your voice, and to set our hearts and minds on you. Help us dear Lord, to be disciplined, even as we open up this space daily to seek your face, may you use this space to mould us, to induce a change in us, to give us a fresh restart, all according to your will. And even as we struggle, as we will, keep us steady and grant us Your guidance; and as we fall, pick us back up onto our feet again. We pray for change dear Father, in us as individuals, and in the community as a whole. And keep everyone safe, including everyone back home in Malaysia. Amen.

First post

Well, as the scrolling text above quite clearly states, Life Expedition will begin our 40 day period of prayer and fasting this friday (4 days from now). As of this post, I have not yet decided on a solid decision regarding what I will be fasting from, but a much clearer picture of what I will be fasting FOR :

i) One of our close friends and a member of our housechurch, Jonathan is suffering from immature macular degeneration (a problem, for lack of better word, with his eyesight), which basically means he is 'legally blind' - he can make out rough and blurred shapes, but details of any sort are almost impossible for him to make out. He has been struggling with this problem for awhile now, having had to endure a roller coaster ride of mixed emotions and feelings, and we will be fasting and praying that he will be healed.

ii) My younger brother, Christopher is a kidney transplant patient. When he was much younger, my dad donated a kidney to him as he was born with small kidneys which were insufficient to meet his body's needs. Since then, Christopher has been on medication and has had to go for monthly checkups, and my dad for yearly checkups, and by God's grace they have both been healthy and fine all these years. I will be fasting and praying for their good health, and also complete healing, that both of them will be free from the medication, to live a truly free life.

I (and we in the housechurch) have realized that there are several things we are unafraid to pray for : for God to change the city, to change our church, to change our school / university, for protection, and so forth, but when it comes to praying for people really dear to us (or rather situations which we are able to see unfold, circumstances in which we are aware of the actual result), we often feel differently about it.

I guess it is one of our shortcomings that we may be afraid that we do not possess the faith to pray for something as big as complete healing. It is not, however, that we doubt in God, but rather we doubt ourselves - are we really capable of praying such prayers? It could be, perhaps, that we have really left our childlike faith behind; outgrown it perhaps, and have lost that simple mustard-seed belief that everything we pray will be granted as long as we pray according to His will. And that is where prayer and fasting as a group comes in. Alone, we might not have the will to carry on, but together, as a group, as one body, looking after each other, and urging each other onwards, we believe we can achieve what we could not do on our own.

I do not think it is a coincidence that the start of the 40 day fast and prayer coincides with my 2 week mid semester break, I believe it is an opportunity for me to spend more time on the Word, something which I admit I have been neglecting as of late. (A hectic schedule is no reason whatsover not to spend time, and I know it.)

Prayer : Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. We acknowledge your kingdom on this Earth, as it is in heaven. Help me spend more time with you, to spend more time on your Word, despite all the distractions in the world. Help my unbelief, Father God, and help me learn to trust completely in you, cast out all spirits of unbelief in me. And teach me to pray, that I may know and pray according to your will o Lord, not for my selfish pleasures but according to what you have in store for me. And keep the ones I hold dear to my heart safe always, send your angels of protection to guide around them, to my dear parents, grandmother, siblings, auntys and uncles back in Malaysia, and also Nick and the boys, and everyone else -grant them your peace and your joy. We also want to commit our upcoming 40 day prayer and fasting to you, that you might open our eyes and ears to see and hear what you have in store for us, for you and only you know what is best for us. For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever, Amen.